Violence is Their God! And Lust the Law They Live By! (June, 1967)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Man, those character descriptions are hoot and a half … After the surprising financial success of their first hell-razin’ outlaw biker flick, Roger Corman immediately followed up The Wild Angels with another sordid tale of motorized hooligans. Based loosely on a Monterey, California, incident back in 1965, where several members of the Hell’s Angels were accused, arrested, and later acquitted on several rape charges, Devil’s Angels came to the same conclusion for the fictionalized Skulls club — but then deviates rather radically on the biker’s reaction to being railroaded by local law-enforcement. Needless to say, the locals didn’t “Stay out of their way…”

Devil’s Angels (1967) American International Pictures / EP: James H. Nicholson, Samuel Z. Arkoff / P: Roger Corman, Burt Topper / AP: Jack W. Cash / D: Daniel Haller / W: Charles B. Griffith / C: Richard Moore / E: Kenneth G. Crane, Ronald Sinclair / M: Mike Curb / S: John Cassavetes, Beverly Adams, Mimsy Farmer, Leo Gordon, Buck Taylor

Drive-In Mash-Up :: Grisly! Gruesome! Ghastly! These Films Will Disgust and Repel Those Too Weak to Share a Living Nightmare of the Bizarre! (October, 1968)

 

 

 

 
Once more, your local censors at work on that first ad, removing the island beauties due to their *ahem* National Geographic-ness. Also, gotta love the dismemberment action in these ads. And with this entry, we officially wrap up Eddie Romero and Hemisphere Picture’s Blood Island Trilogy with the opening chapter of this nefarious, mad-science gone amok series born and executed in the jungles of the Philippines. And taking a chapter from his old pal Sam Sherman — of Independent International fame, aside from producing their own pictures, Hemisphere also imported whatever European schlock that managed to trickle through Hollywood without getting snatched up, including this Christopher Lee snoozer, who runs a knock-off Theatre du Grand-Guignol in Paris as a cover for his other hobby, which involves murdering people by draining out all of their blood. And, hey, lookitthat … We got a Jack H. Harris double-chaser on the weekend with Steve McQueen vs. a giant breast implant and a tropical island adventure with a construction crew, a caveman, and a clunky stop-motion brontosaurs and T-Rex.

Multiplex Mash-Up :: Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back into the Water… (July, 1978)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
My brilliant dissertation on JAWS 2:

Not enough people get eaten.

The End.

And between you and me, I think I prefer the sailboat art over the happy water-skier that’s about to get munched.

Midnite All-Terror Thrill Show — It’ll Scare the Yell Out of You! (November, 1959)

 

 

 

Drive-In Mash-Up :: Get In, Kids. There’s Always Room for One More. (August, 1975)

 

 

 
If you’ve ever wanted to hear John Savage sing, then The Sister In-Law is your movie.

If You Liked Young Frankenstein… (February, 1976)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
… You probably won’t like Old Dracula. Originally shot in 1973 under the title Vampira, the film was shelved for almost two whole years before it was repackaged and released to hopefully cash in on it’s much, much funnier mark. A mod-mash-up of Brooks’ film and William Crain’s criminally underrated Blacula, Clive Donner’s fairly tasteless and desperate attempt to keep the swingin’ 1960s going results in a film that is lost in the wasteland where truly bad films that aren’t quite bad enough to be good go to rot, if you know what I mean. And David Niven should be ashamed of himself for that last sight gag. My advice? Skip it and watch Love at First Bite instead.

Old Dracula (1975) World Film Services :: American International Pictures / P: Jack Wiener / D:  Jack Wiener / W: Jeremy Lloyd / C: Anthony B. Richmond / E: Bill Butler / M: David Whitaker / S: David Niven, Teresa Graves, Peter Bayliss, Jennie Linden, Linda Hayden

The Most Exciting Original Motion Picture Event of All Time! (December, 1976)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
“No one cry when JAWS die. But when the monkey die, people gonna cry. Intellectuals gonna love Kong; even film buffs who love the first Kong gonna love ours. Why? Because I give them no crap. I no spend two, three million to do quick business. I spend 24 million on my Kong. I give them quality. I got here a great love story, a great adventure. And she rated PG. For everybody.” .

                             — Dino De Laurentiis / TIME Magazine ’76

 
I remember the pre-release publicity blitzkrieg for Dino De Laurentiis’ much ballyhooed remake hitting big in the fall of ’76, mostly because I remember the back to school shopping where I pitched one helluva fit to get a tablet with a picture of a royally pissed off Kong shredding through a giant wall.
 

 
I had no idea who John Berkey was back then, but I think we can all agree that if the finished product had turned out just half as good as his promotional artwork, we’d all probably have fonder memories of the 1976 version of King Kong instead of the lingering aftertaste of the giant turd-burger it turned out to be. But the eternal question still remains: Just what the hell is that smoldering thing Kong is holding in his other hand? It started life as a jet, right?
 

Right.

 
Anyhooo … Over the subsequent years since I finally saw its broadcast premiere as a movie of the week, my feelings on this film have softened a bit. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still no damned good but it can be watched and enjoyed and celebrated for its myriad of faults. From Jessica Lange’s vapid Dwan, to Jeff Bridges’ proto-Dude, to Lorenzo Semple’s groan inducing, male chauvinist pig ape script, to the Big D’s failure to deliver the goods, F/X wise, and Rick Baker’s noble but ultimately futile attempts to bail them all out, one can only watch and boggle at how bad it is. Yeah, I’m still a little bitter and peeved about the lack of other monsters on Skull Island. I mean…
 

What? A giant snake? That’s it?

 
Where the @#%* were the dinosaurs? He’s supposed to wrassle dinosaurs, not a giant phallic symbol! You already covered that at the wall with that big greasy pole and the giant glory hole made of reeds and palm fronds! Okay, maybe I’m still a whole lot of bitter and peeved about that.
 

 
Ah well, at least I’ll always have my Burger King collectible glasses.
 

 
King Kong (1976) Dino De Laurentiis Company :: Paramount Pictures / EP: Federico De Laurentiis, Christian Ferry / P: Dino De Laurentiis / D: John Guillermin / W: Lorenzo Semple Jr. / C: Richard H. Kline / E: Ralph E. Winters / M: John Barry / S: Jessica Lange, Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, Rene Auberjonois, Julius Harris, Ed Lauter

And the Academy Award for Best Actor Goes To… (December, 1976)

 

 

Your Friends Will Go Ape Over this Cocktail — Believe It or Not! (February, 1977)

 

 

Put a Little Kong in Your Pants (December, 1976)